Some More College Humor...

Now, I know the theory of guessing the whole test "all C" or "all B" and so on. And you would figure maybe you could get lucky on a 100-question test right? I mean, you don't even have to waste your time looking at the test.

This kid tried that theory on this 100-question test.




Too bad it was a TRUE-FALSE TEST. As in, either pick A) true, or B) false.
The professor who gave the test then had this to say:

Dear Michael,

Every year I attempt to boost my students' final grades by giving them this relatively simple exam consisting of 100 True/False questions from only 3 chapters of material. For the past 20 years that I have taught Intro Communications 101 at this institution I have never once seen someone score below a 65 on this exam. Consequently, your score of a zero is the first in history and ultimately brought the entire class average down a whole 8 points.

There were two possible answer choices: A (True) and B (False). You chose C for all 100 questions in an obvious attempt to get lucky with a least a quarter of the answers. It's as if you didn't look at a single question. Unfortunately, this brings your final grade in this class to failing. See you next year!


May God have mercy on your soul.

Sincerely,
Professor William Turner

Always look at the first question, kids.

I know...

...It's been MAD long since I've post. Well...BACK OFF. I've been busy with way too much and I haven't had a chance to post. SAT's and work and a bunch of other shit.

Got to thinking about my party though, and I have to start planning even this far in advance. Have to everything ready, empty out pretty much the entire house, and invite the right people. Which is why I'm not telling anyone except for my close friends for now. Something will probably break, but thats alright.

I was thinking if I had to use the dishwasher. Since I can't use one and because of all the cups, it'll look something like this-





I'm in trouble.

Um...How Old Can I Pass For?

Sorry for the long drought of not posting. I was at the barber shop today, and some woman thought I looked 23. Hmm........

And how about those senior pictures? Seems like I never get anything in the mail anymore. Guess I'll just have to guess which day my picture is :).

Whoo hooooooo more Carlin.



2:00.

Jared Heller is a Bitch

JKH10890 (10:42:51 PM): I am such a fuckn bitch

Enough said.

The Twighlight Zone of Deer Park

You know, normally we take the same damn road home from Subway. This time though, we were kind of split up so me, Cameron, and Matt were up ahead of Joe, Jared, Mike and Tyler. We kind of run ahead, but they all catch us. It ends up that Cameron, Mike, and Tyler hop a fence into the school, which the rest of us think is closed by another gate. So me, Matt, Joe, and Jared walk the other way. We walk for a while while Matt claims his "Deer Park street smarts" are gonna help us get home. Uh, that's when we saw a sign that said Totten Ave. Ok, we don't know Totten Ave at all. And then the Twighlight Zone hit. No one was on the streets. No cars. No people. Actually, we did see some guy vacuuming his house (also extremely weird). So then we see another street sign reading Totten Ave.....EXTENSION. Um.....WHAT THE FUCK IS TOTTEN AVENUE EXTENSION?!?!?!

We all get real freaked out for a bit but eventually find our way home. Damn, must be those "Deer Park street smarts".

Donald Trump Nation

Now, let me make this clear. I watch "The Apprentice" every week and I am a big fan of Trump. But some people take it too far.

These people actually analyze the people on the show and some of them even make bets on who's going to get fired. And I thought the whole sports forum thing was crazy. Hah.

So I'm Here With Don...

...and it's 3:53 AM. Well it's about time to get back to school, but I have no work. Oh wait, nevermind, I forgot that ONE teacher decided to give me a lot of work (Powers). Who cares, it's just two days of school. Well, before I pass out, just wanted to kiss goodbye to all of these days off and all the time I've wasted being sick.

I'm Off to Penn State

Call if you'd like. I'll be back Monday night to enjoy those two extra days off and probably do the same thing I've been doing all vacation. Which is how I like it :).

GO ISLANDERS.

Spring Break and Such...

It's been a while since I've written here, primarily because I've been busy driving around with Jared or sleeping, or sometimes hangin' out. It's been a good time though, I've been with some old friends, and made some new ones. Tonight though, my mom kinda pissed me off when she didn't let me out. It kinda made me feel like...
Wait, are you supposed to curse on these things? Oh well...

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Yeah, kinda like that.

Last Night...

...I feel like I got hit by a truck. We have a nice night out a 'family restaurant'. I don't think Hooters qualifies as a family restaurant. Everyone had a great night, and so did I until about 11:00. Something just hit me. Maybe it was those wings. Or those Hooters girls. Or Jared driving at 100 mph. One of those hit me last night when we were out, and I probably made an ass out of myself. It's alright though, we had a hell of a time.

Slow Week...

Man this week has gone slow. All of this work has left me with not enough free time, and this break can't come fast enough. Doesn't help when you have two spanish tests in ONE day. I need that Friday feeling of being in Deer Park, and being home at Subway. Let's see how this South Park is tonight.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Well it's been a pretty good day (with the exception of one absurd incident). But, not really a big deal to me. I'll enjoy my birthday just as much.

I might have some company at work this year! Matt and Kelsey might be joining me at my job in the summer as a counselor. That scares me.

Since I'm in a good mood, how about some Ronnie Coleman*

*Courtesy of Cameron Kohn

To Clear Up Some Things...

Anyone who's heard about the whole thing on Friday, well you should just let it go. Pretty much everyone who was there did something wrong, so we all just want to forget that night ever happened. None of us want to talk about it so if you know anything about it, don't bring it up.

On a more positive note, it's my birthday tomorrow. So give me a gift by punching me or something.

EDIT: A little Carlin for you. Go to 8:30 left.